Random conversations!
by crnbabi
Summary: this is a time consumer that me and my friends make when we have no life and get bored. well hope you like it and pease give suggestions! not very good because so many people have different ideas but thats okay lets see how it turns out
1. Chapter 1

**(A/N me and my friend tori made this because we have no life and were extremely bored. Well the point of this is to consume our time when we have no life like right now so hope this will help do the same for you… I think.)**

**Random Conversations with the V- I mean Cullens! Whoooo**

Edward **Emmett **_Bella __**Alice**_

_Hey Eddie Teddy!_

Um… Hey Belly Jelly!

Wait, that didn't sound right. Sorry.

**Hey! Eddie Teddy! I'm taking your car okay?!**

_**Why is Emmett making a hole in the floor from laughter?**_

**I'm back, I'm okay. I mean c'mon! Belly jelly?!?!?! Wtf!**

_Omg good bye._

No! I'm sorry love, I just didn't think of anything good.

_How would that make it better?_

I'm not so sure…

_Eddie! Gosh I thought you loved me! GOOD BYE!_

BELLA! NOOOOOOO!

_I'm just kidding. Gosh_

THAT WASN'T FUNNY!

**Yes it was! Now give me the keys to your car.**

Why would I do that?!

**Because I'm on a secret mission.**

And what would that be?

**It's a secret.**

_I'm scared now, Emmett, what are you doing… _

**Bella, you are coming with me!**

_I am?_

She is?

**Definitely, Bella won't want to miss this.**

_Actually, I am pretty sure I do want to miss this._

**Be there in 5 minutes!**

_Wait!_

He already left. I would come but I think I would rather not.

_Edward!_

Sorry but his mind is scaring me right now. He usually only blocks things from me if it isn't something I will like.

_Edward-!!!!! Make him stop!_

Sorry, he is already there.

**Bella! Lets go!**

_Got to go now Edward, Thanks so much._

Bye, Love.

**Ok Bella, we are going to trick Edward!**

_We are?_

**Yup.**

**(sorry! Its so short I know but once again, this is just a time consumer and we have no life but now we are goig to watch a movie I already watched like a million times whoo! Im so weird hahaha update soon and please give me ideas! Thank you all)**


	2. Chapter 2 gotchya

Author aka me! Mwahahaha lol **Rosalie** Bella _Alice_

**Bella, you are so weird. You do know that Edward will kill you after this?**

Yep

_OH, hush up Rose, this will be FUN!_

**No it wont. He will murder us all.**

_Us maybe, but not Bella!_

**Even more of a reason to hate her.**

_That wasn't very nice Rosalie! You hurt Bella's feeeeelings!_

**Why would I care?!?!**

_Look at what you've done! She is crying!_

**Ummm Bella, I am sorry. I didn't mean it li-**

Gotchya! _Gotchya!_

_See! This will be fun! _

Yipee!

**Ummm, why are you running around in circles?**

Cuz I feeeeel like it

**Should I be scared now? **

_Oh no! look at what I found in her hand! It's a bag of pot! OMG_

**Shut up Alice it is just sugar, besides if it was pot we would have smelt it**

_Oh yeahhhhhh drr I am so stupid_

**Yes you are**

_Hey! That is so mean!_

**Gotchya myself! Mwahahahahahaha**

The Harry Pickle! The Harry Pickle! The Harry Pickle!

_Bella… we will never pull this off if you don't calm down!_

I love you! You love me! We are a happy family!

**My god! Now she is singing barney!**

_Well how would you even know what barney is? Hmmmm?_

**Welll…. I kinda watch it sometimes.**

_OMG Rosalie loves barney!_

Rose loves barney! Yes she does! Lets hope Emmett doesn't have a gun!

_cuz if he does he will shoot barney in the head! Lets go home and sing again!_

**Now Alice is doing it!**

(Edward was there the whole time Video taping them. Yay revenge!)

(he now goes and downloads this on the computer)

Wait, so what was it that we wanted to do to Edward, Alice?

_Well…_

**Hahahah cliffhanger! Sry I promise to update soon**


	3. Chapter 3 Seventeen

Bella – weeee woooooooooooooooo! Weeeeeeeeeeeeee woooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alice – what the f

Bella - **IM A FIRETRUCK!!! WEE WOOO WEE WOOOOOOOOOO!**

Alice – Oh yeah?! Well I'm a shopping cart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bella – But they don't make any sound so they? Unless they are squeaky…

Allice – who said we had to _sound _like them?

_I saw her evil grin and next thing you know we are rolling around in the middle of a grocery store!_

Allice – Weeeeee!!! Wait, Bella!!!!

Bella – WeeEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! **CRASH!!!** OWWWWIIIIIEEEEE! THAT HURTS!!!

_I looked down at my leg, I rolled into some fruitstand and lemon juice was all over my scraped knees, I cut them when I shaved them this morning. _

Alice – hahahaha!

Manager of the store – Get out of here! What were you thinking?

_Alice turned on her charm and swayed him with her eyes. "Can't you spare her for the sake of me? I still need to do my shopping." "uhhhh…" and with that we were on our way to her house. _

Carlisle – Bella! Good to see you, Edward told me what happened as you got near the house, lemme see it. You will be fine lets just clean it up and wrap them in gauze, it will be wrapped tightly, you wont be able to bend your knees though.

_Ugghhh. I tried to walk up the stairs to Edwards room. He chuckled and brought me to his room. Carrying me and my stiff legs was a chllenge. He had to carry me vertically beause they wouldn't fit horizontally through the stairway. He layed me on his bed and twisted my hair with one finger. He gave me a soft kiss and I shoved him back as he chuckled. _

Edward – what did I do?

Bella – I don't appreciate being laughed at!

_I craweled out of the bed and attempted getting up. I was going to distract myself. I spotted a magazine. __Seventeen. _

Bella – Hey! Edward! I didn't know you read this stuff!

Edward – What 'stuff" ???

Bella – This!

_I tried picking it up but it was wedged inbetween his desk and wall, I pulled and finally it was loose! But I used too much force in that last tug and that caused the magazine to hit me in the eye! "OWWWWW!!! EDWARD IT HURTS!" I started to cry but only in one eye, the eye the magazine hit. It wouldn't stop watering and it hurt so bad! Edward then picked me up and rushed me into Carlisle's care. _

Carlisle – Back so soon?

_As soon as he saw my eye he began checking it as Edward told him the story. _

Carlisle – You read _Seventeen _magazines?

Bella – Yeah you never answered me! OWWW! THAT HURT!

Edward – Ummm, no! That is Alice's magazine and she made me take a quiz, I only did half of it.

_Carlisle then told me I would have to wear an eye patch to keep my eye from blinking which will make it worse. Then I took the magazine and flipped it until my one eye could see a half filled quiz. __WHAT TYPE OF GIRL ARE YOU? __HAHAHAHA! I showed Edward and asked him. His face would have been as red as catchup if he could blush. He just ran out in vampire speed. _

Bella – Get him!

_And with that Carlisle picked me up so we could go tease Edward, vampire speed or not._

**I was with my friend when one class ended and i was pretending to be a firetruck. Then i was getting the days newspaper out of my locker when the corner of it hit me in the eye cuz it was stuck and i pulled too hard. I went to the nurse and she put this huge white gauze thing to my eye so it wouldn't blink and then taped half of my face so it wouldn't come off. Everyone was calling me a pirate in the room so as soon as i left i ripped it off. Hahaha im still made fun of it today. Good times good times. By they way, JEREMY YOU JERK STOP MAKING FUN OF ME! PIRATES ARE F-IN HOTT AND SEXY! WHOOOO THAT MEANS IM HOT AND SEXAYYYY, BUT YOU KNEW THAT ALREADY! MWAHAHAAA. ok well thanks and review pleaseee!**


	4. Chapter 4 Amazing!

Edward – I swear that's not the quiz I took!

Alice – Yes it is! Edward, you don't need to hide the fact that you are gay.

Bella – You are GAY!?!?! AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME THIS WHEN WE STARTED DATING?! EDWARD MASON CULLEN YOU ARE DEAD MEAT!

Edward – I swear Bella, im not gay! I wouldn't lie to you!

Alice – Well if you aren't gay then why did you take the quiz? Huh?

Edward – Maybe because YOU told me to!

Alice – Sooo! My vision showed me what kind of girl you are anyway!

Bella – Really?! What? What?!!!

Alice – there are three, shy, cute, showstopper.

Edward – I am none of them!

Alice – You would have been a shy girl. It says here, You don't like to jump into the boys faces asking them out, you might wear a little smear of lip gloss and crush on them from a distance. You still have a good sense in style and are really fun when you let people get close to your heart.

Bella – So you ARE gay! How could you do this to me? fake sobs

Edward - tackles Alice and she says I GIVE UP! I SURRENDER! Good! Mwahahaaaaa.

_Edward then sweeps me off my feet and carries me and my stiff feet off to his room._

Bella – Edward, you aren't _Gay, _are you?

Edward – Of course not! Even if I were, you would have made me straight again. winks

_He made me giggle. He was acting like a tiger now, purring in my ear. I gave him a kiss and then I got hungry. Foooooood! I reached into my pocket, aha! Some leftover pixie sticks from Valentine's Day. I quickly ate them as fast as my human abilities would allow, then Edward took the three leftover that I haven't touched yet. _

Bella – WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! I AM A PIXIE STICK!

Edward – OH? And where is my preciouse pixie stick from?

Bella – Chicago! And you will be my side kick my tootsie roll!

Edward – From… Puerto Rico!

Bella – Yeah! Candyliciousness UNITE!

Edward – We now need to defeat the evil twizzler!

Bella – Who?

Edward – Emmet, he is _eavesdropping!!!_

Bella – To the evil twizzler! Hazzah!

_We then ran out after him, well me on his back for he is fast, and then he put me down and tackled him denting the wall. _

Esme – EDWARD! EMMET! I YOU BETTER NOT BE RUINING MY HOUSE!

Emmet & Edward – Yes Mommy!

Bella – Momma boys! Hahahaha!

_They toss over an evil smile to each other, god I wish I could read their minds. Then they run over and pick me up sending me to my doom! My doom turned out to be Alice and Rosalies job. A makeover!_

Bella – NOOO! I ried to run away but fell over.

Alice – Yesss! If you let us do this I will take the leg wrap things off!

Bella – Fine!

_Alice & Rosalie got to work then and blind folded me. Well, I was already temporarily blind in one eye cuz it was covered. But now they were done with my hair, makeup, and clothes. They took my Blindfold off and showed me the mirror. _

Bella – OH EM GEE WHAT DID YOU DO?! WHERE AM I? WHO IS THIS?

_HAHHAHAHA! That's all I heard. Uh ohhh. I looked HOT but what was this for? (check my profile for the pic of the dress. I imagined it as a darker midnight blue ) My hair was put up into a bun with hundreds of diamons scattered in it. There were a few curled strands of hair falling around my face. My makeup was soft but made all the difference. My eyelashes were so long, and made my eyes look huge! I had no blush, because I would take care of that myself. I had long earrings with shining diamonds in it, along with a necklace and anklet to match. I wasn't me, I was beautiful. Not to mention I didn't have the eye patch anymore and could see! I was thankful._

Bella – WOW!

Rosalie – I know!

_WOW, she was NICE, wow. _

Bella – So what is this about anyway?

Alice – You will see!

_Edward then sweeped in. He was wearing a tux, and I was free to walk without the wraps. He took me by the arm and we went to dinner. All of the girls envied me, according to Edward, that I had him, and the guys that he was with me, I didn't mean to brag, but I was far more beautiful than everyone, except Edward. And I could actually agree with myself this time. I was beautiful._


	5. Chapter 5 lingerie

Ahhh! Help me! Alice took me on one of her shopping sprees. She already had me try on enough clothes to last a life time! Why didn't she just donate this all to homeless children in Africa or something? Uh-oh… She now had me in Victoria's Secret. I sure hope we are just shopping for the Pink collection. Before I could make a run for it she had me in a dressing room with her.

"Ok Bella, Try these all on! You need to be sexy for your Eddy Teddy!" Alice held out an armful of lingerie. Some was red, black, white, and they were almost all lacy.

"Why! Eddy Teddy better think I'm sexy already or else I'll have my rabid banana army come after his sorry hottt ass!" God she is crazy! Does she seriously think I would wear any of that?

Next thing I knew Edward burst into the dressing room, "Don't you dare make her wear something she doesn't wear!"

"HOLY SHIT EDWARD!"

"what?" He clearly had no idea why I was so astonished.

"YOU ARE IN _VICTORIA'S SECRET!_ IN A WOMANS _DRESSING ROOM!"_

Alice was in hysterics. She started to rummage in her pile of lingerie and pulled out a lacy deep blue thong.

"And _these_ are for you Edward!" She chuckled, "Unless of course you would like Bella to model them for you, c'mon Edward you know you want her too!"

If Edward could blush he would be as red as a ripe tomato! He pinned Alice to the dressing room floor when suddenly the dressing room attendant showed up.

"I hope you aren't planning on giving everyone a show because I might just have to call the police. In fact, I already did."

Behind her I could see Charlie. Edward next to me stiffened and Alice was on the verge of bursting out in laughter. God I wanted to punch her, curse my humanly disabilities! Charlie's face was as pale as, well, a vampires'. He handcuffed all three of us and sat us in the back of his police car. He handcuffed me! His only daughter! We tried to explain it to him but he wouldn't believe us. He gave Edward evil looks all night. Finally Jasper and Emmet came to the rescue, well mostly Jasper. Emmet just kept laughing like a hyena on crack. Jasper used his 'powers' to make him feel sympathy on misunderstood teens that were set up by some passerby's. Wow what an unusual night.

**I do not own Victoria's Secret but I am a fan of their PINK collection. Woot woot! I thought it would be interesting to see what would happen if they ever got reported to the police but I wasn't quite sure how they would go against the law other than speeding. But whatever. Thanks for reading! I now command Edward to give you alll a hug! Don't you argue! Its just a hug! See?! Was that so hard? he looks evil because he feels he should only hug his beloved, which should be me, but noooo.**

**Thanks!**


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